Category Archives: New Products

The Next Innovation for Apple? The iPad Maxi.

Posted on January 18, 2013 by timmyco

Pity Nabisco. A long way back, they developed a cookie that can only be described as awesome: the Oreo. Sugary lardy goodness sandwiched between two wafers best described as “chocolate” in name only, the Oreo made processed food taste panderingly … Continue reading →

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TimmyCo Introduces “Pink Slime” Mascot

Posted on April 15, 2012 by timmyco

We at TimmyCo want to let you in on a secret. Selling to adults is hard. Adults possess something called a “developed pre-frontal cortex” that they use when they make decisions. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Before you stop reading because we … Continue reading →

Posted in Advertising, Food Safety, New Products, Snack foods | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

TimmyCo Introduces “Trimmies,” the First Direct-to-Consumers Pink Slime Product,

Posted on March 29, 2012 by timmyco

There has recently been an uproar in the national media over meat companies’ use of lean finely textured beef, known affectionately by its nickname, “pink slime.”  But what exactly are lean finely textured beef trimmings? Why, they are nothing but … Continue reading →

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Reputation Pretender will Protect Your Online Reputation

Posted on January 19, 2011 by timmyco

In these days of internet sophistication, it takes a savvy user to portray themselves as the person they want to be rather than the person they actually are. With banks, employers, and dates easily able to explore your online reputation, … Continue reading →

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TimmyCo Introduces X-treme! Fructose Corn Syrup

Posted on October 9, 2010 by timmyco

TimmyCo is rebranding our high fructose corn syrup as X-treme! fructose corn syrup. X-treme! fructose corn syrup has nearly double the sweetening power as regular high fructose corn syrup. Continue reading →

Posted in New Products, Nutrition, Snack foods | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

TimmyCo Introduces the World’s First Genetically Modified Snack Cake

Posted on September 27, 2010 by timmyco

TimmyCo has introduced the first genetically modified snack cake, FrankenCakes®, which have 50% more calories and twice the fat as ordinary snack cakes. Continue reading →

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TimmyCo Introduces Child Aquarium for Senior Citizens Who Hate Children

Posted on September 3, 2010 by timmyco

The fastest-growing market in the country is senior citizens and they hate a lot of things. Especially children. But now, thanks to the TimmyCo Child Aquarium, old people can enjoy children the way they want to – quietly. Continue reading →

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TimmyCo Introduces New Chemical Dispersant Made from Potassium Cyanide

Posted on August 28, 2010 by timmyco

TimmyCo has introduced a new dispersant to help break up oil spills. Wipeout® is a friend to environmentalists and fishermen alike. Continue reading →

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TimmyCo Ad Division Announces Partnership with Helium

Posted on August 15, 2010 by timmyco

Using TimmyCo’s Super-Smart Technology®, we can analyze reader preferences to package ad content that better fits their interests. For example, if a reader is interested in the E. coli poisoning scandal at Jack-in-the-Box restaurants, they may also be interested in coupons to fast food restaurants or a job at a Jack-in-the-Box. Continue reading →

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